I found a large box in my closet. Well, I’ve found many – but this particular box is completely full of a few years worth of dollar store toys.

Things that can cut you. Things that can blind you. Things that have no grasp of copyright or spelling. Things that are potentially hilarious. If Toygiants taught me anything, its an appreciation of every toy in its rawest, sloppiest form – smeared with paint and harboring visible seams.

He’s the king of adventure, defending the stars. How awesome is that? You know, if it didn’t suck so intensely and come with torso-sized Liefeld guns? It’s worth noting that the illustrations are madcore awesome.

With real, live Zone Power Of Spinning. This was probably from that bygone era when Pokemon were still an infectious disease that was slowly devouring America and ruining Saturday morning cartoons forever.


An unfortunate mistranslation that steals from both Lisa Frank and Disney : My Lover Mermaid, because ‘My Mermaid That Has Sex With Me’ was already taken.

A snowstorm can be exciting! Water skiing is of the newest in the family of sports! Move over, sonw on skis! It’s like a collage was brutally sodomized, and this is the evidence.

Transformers : Robots in Denial. It actually changes into an even less attractive pile of junk.

More to come.