It’s been hovering around 100 degrees in upstate New York, and I spent the morning feeling tremendously unpleasant and knee-wobbly.

So, I stayed in bed and read all of Paper Towns by John Green, and kinda had my mind twisted around by the parallels to my own weird little life and the amazing, dangerous people I fall in with. The whole story ends up in a little town a bit north of where I live, and even speaks to the idea that people are things that happen, and I don’t know what it all means, but it’s never an easy battle upwards. I’ve shifted between trying and trying very hard and not trying at all, and it all looks the same.

Maybe if you can’t find answers in a book, you can find hope.

When I disappear, I’ll leave some pretty awesome clues.